Telling The Truth Won’t Kill You!

In the current political environment you would think that telling the truth would somehow be the end of life for the very people lying their butts off lately.  I’m so tired of listening to “the spin” and trying to figure out what people are trying not to say, that I long for the days when people just told the truth.

The sad part is that most of these professional liars are so into their version of the truth that they have convinced themselves that they are being truthful.  Even when they are confronted with annoying little things like facts they ignore the conversation and start in again with an even more exaggerated version.

Okay, sadder still is the vast amount of people listening that are being duped into believing the lies!  I want to just yell at everyone to stop lying and just tell the truth.  Face up to reality and let’s fix the problems.  Leaders should be leading in a positive way, and stop all this finger-pointing.  As my good friend Linda Galindo would say, “it is time to take personal accountability!”

So for those of you that are fearful that telling the truth might kill you, I’m pleading with you to try first and see how your relationships actually improve when people trust you more.  And for the politicians seeking a vote, you might be surprised how obtaining trust will help.

Me A Mentor?

“Shouldn’t it be an honor to be a mentor?”  A former training manager that worked for me several years back asked me that question.  She is an RN in a hospital in Nevada now, and had found a person who she thought was the perfect model of competency and human compassion.  She approached her about being a mentor and the person reacted as if she was being fired.

I am a firm believer in mentoring as part of our learning process, so at this former company I was Chief Learning Officer; I encouraged both formal and informal mentoring relationships.  This training manager thought this to be the norm in an organization, and experiencing first hand the positives of mentoring; she sought out this relationship in her new career in nursing.  Yet she was not prepared for the negative reactions she has been getting to find a mentor.

I explained to her that I agree that it is an honor to be selected by someone to be a mentor.  Every time someone has asked me to play that role, I get almost flustered at the thought they picked me out of the crowd of possibilities.  Yet, because I understand the value in the mentoring role I always jump at the offer.  I then explained that unless someone has witnessed the positive results of mentoring, or been a mentor themselves it is a bridge we must build for most folks.

Not only do we need to help people understand the value of mentoring, we need to spell out the responsibilities in the relationship.  Be prepared to describe what you are seeking from them as a mentor, and what the time commitments are of what you are seeking.  I suggested she approach the next person with an opening like, “have you ever been a mentor before?” and then proceed with either your definition, or if they have been a mentor, you tell them you would like to see if they would mentor you.

I’m happy to say that in the past couple of weeks my friend has found a mentor that is “honored” at the role, and opened to learning how to be the best mentor ever.  What my friend did is my advice for everyone today, and that is to keep trying.  Having a mentor benefits both of you, and if you keep up your search, the right match will surface eventually.

The Guy In The Glass

Sometime around 1985 I was on a Holland America Lines cruise to Alaska when I heard the Cruise Director, David Lawton, read a poem called “The Guy In The Glass.”  After a couple of days the words stayed with me and I asked for a copy that I just found this week.  I would like to share it with you.

The Guy In The Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for self and the world makes you king for a day, go to the mirror and take a look at yourself and see what that guy has to say.

It isn’t your mother, father or wife who’s judgement on you must pass.  The fellow who’s verdict counts most in your life is the guy staring back from the glass.

You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum and think you are a wonderful guy.  But the guy in the glass says you are a bum if you can’t look him straight in the eye.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years and get pats on your back as you pass.  But you’re final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated that guy in the glass.

Make Transitions Smooth

I’ll bet that each of us can remember a time we left an organization and the process of leaving was mutually smooth for both parties.  At the same time I’m willing to bet that each of us have dreaded the day that we dared to resign, because from that day forward we were treated like we had the plague or leprosy and they couldn’t wait to kick us out the door.

It is for the benefit of both the company and the employee that both endeavor to make exit transitions smooth.  Although it is not uncommon for employers to accept the resignation as immediate and pay the employee through the notice period, I fail to see the logic in this practice unless the employee has proven to be a threat to national security in the past.  A smooth transition allows all work processes to pass from one party to another with minimal disruption.

I had one employer that was panicked that I would be letting fellow employees and vendors know the “real reasons” I was leaving.  They offered me a large sum of “hush” money and wanted me to sign that my silence would be taken to the grave.  I passed on the offer.  When you are an unethical organization like this one was, I can see the concern that would engage such a reaction because they wanted to keep a lid on the truth.  Funny thing about the truth is it always gets out eventually.  In my case, everyone knew why I was resigning and wondered what took me so long to make the decision.

When companies are angry or feel defensive over an employee resigning, there is too much emotion to make a transition smooth.  Both parties need to take the emotion out of the process and focus on what is best for the organization and the customers.  Spending less time on damage control and more time on understanding what needs to be completed by the successor to the role is more important. 

I’d like to recommend that both the company and the employee that has decided to resign be prepared for this event.  Both should create a list of transition steps and an agreed upon date for implementation.  This avoids last day items from appearing too early in the notice period and looking like the employee is being pushed out.

The benefits of a smooth transition are many, but in my mind it leaves both parties still feeling good about each other.  When there is minimal animosity on the last days then there is also little chance the “real reasons” will ever be revealed.  I believe that most people can forgive and forget things in the workplace over time, as long as the final days are respectful.

Little Things Mean A Lot

When I was recently asked what floats my boat in the world of business relationships, I answered so quickly that I was fascinated at what came out of my mouth.  I said, “when people return my phone calls and emails.”

I don’t ask for much in this world, really, and yet when I realized that people who are courteous enough to reply to me acknowledge that I am worth the time of day to them.  Little things do mean a lot to me, and while it may seem insignificant, let’s examine how returning phone calls and emails increases personal productivity.

When we call to talk with someone, it is usually for a reason.  We seek information, confirmation, or to establish the next step.  Although a call is usually more urgent than an email, both are seeking the same things.  So when you send an email, or leave a voice message, the first thing that crosses your mind is when will they get this information?

As time passes without any acknowledgement from the receiver of your message, you begin to wonder if they even got the information.  Now you don’t want to look like you forgot them, so you call again, or send another email.  “Did you get my message?”  Time passes and you begin to wonder if technology is working, or is the receiver just ignoring you.

You may try a few more times, and then give up.  Tenacious sales people will call a hundred times until they reach you, and by then you are so tired of their calls you really don’t want anything to do with them.  On the other hand, what if the receiver is ill, on vacation, in meetings, or died?  Maybe I should call again.

Now imagine that the email was replied to with, “thanks for the information, I will get back to you by Friday.”  Well, all wondering ceases to exist and you wait until Friday before the process begins again.  You can actually concentrate on other tasks and free your mind of thinking about this person and whether they received your message.

What floats my boat in business relationships is a person that respects their own time, as well as my time.  When they take the seconds necessary to reply to me, it saves us both a lot of wasted time and allows us to both be more productive.  It is also something we used to call common courtesy.  Oh dear, I’m revealing my age again.

Knowing When To Walk

I’ve been in the workforce for 33 years, and have had a few jobs along the way, and several employers and managers.  Since my early years were in the financial services industry when they were buying, selling and closing banks right and left, I got used to leaving companies before I was ready.  Later, it was an odd experience to leave an employer that was still open for business.

Yet, knowing when to leave a company and a job has never been my strong suit.  I always stay too long and regret having not left sooner.  I will come up with one long list of reasons why things could change or things will get better.  Circumstances in my mind have always been temporary and subject to change, so why not just wait it out?

But folks, this is an insane way to run your career!  Putting the needs of your employer first is noble and I believe part of a solid relationship between employee and employer.  But when this becomes a one-way street, and the employee is always giving and the employer is always taking, it is time to walk.

I am the same kind of manager, and will often give people more rope than is necessary, yet when I have had to terminate an employee for performance I have always felt that I did everything I could.  Yet when I am the employee, I give the employer way too much rope.  My encouragement for all of you is to work constantly on your relationships, but draw the line somewhere so when it is crossed, you know to get out.  Don’t wait longer and continue to abuse yourself.  Get on with your career and find greener grass!

Know what your goals are, and take a few minutes, at least quarterly, and decide if where you are working, and what you are doing is a match.  If not, then make plans to move into a better environment.  Don’t wait as long as I have because you are physically and mentally exhausted by the time you make a change.

And instead of putting all the blame on your manager, team mates or the company, take the personal accountability for your decision to stay or walk.

Compensation & Productivity

There are many studies that point to the lack of increased productivity after someone has been given an increase in their salary.  And although the same studies will note a modest increase in productivity in some employees after a salary increase, they are quick to note that it is a temporary lift.  Once an employee gets used to the new salary, productivity will revert to the previous levels.  So what do you think about decreasing compensation to motivate increased productivity?

Suppose you have a commission sales force selling your product, and your sales are down for the previous year and things are not looking any better so far this year.  To increase profits it is determined that we need to pay the sales force less money.  Somehow that will increase sales and make more money?

Another company is in the middle of launching some aggressive skill building programs and then the 1^st quarter sales results came in lower than expected.  The way to off set reduced sales was determined by eliminating training thus saving money.  So if I understand this correctly, the focus is on reducing expenses, when the issue is increasing sales.

Compensation is a tool that can motivate certain behaviors.  At the same time if you remove compensation, you will rarely if ever increase productivity.  Most of the time the only increase productivity you will get from the employee is in looking for another job!

By decreasing income, or training which is also seen as a benefit, you are sending the signal that you are putting less into this employer-employee relationship.  So why on earth would any sane person believe the employee would react in a positive way?  Instead of the little extras this employee might be doing for the company, they now see themselves as doing and giving less in this relationship to offset the decreased compensation

You have heard of the phrase “You get what you pay for?”  How about this new phrase, “You don’t get what you don’t pay for?”

Missing An Opportunity

Have you ever missed an opportunity because you waited too long to make up your mind?  You delayed a decision for whatever reason, and when you finally were ready to make your move the opportunity slipped by and through your fingers.

I was eying a car for sale recently online that was a great deal, and a chance to own a similar vehicle to one of my favorite cars.  I even printed it out and left it on top of my desk so the photo would catch my eye throughout the day, and when I finally went to go see it I found out it had been sold.

I’ve let smaller items slip through my fingers on eBay, because I was not actively watching the bidding process, and poof, someone else scooped up a deal.  The only thing worse than getting an email that says “you’ve been outbid” is the one that says, “you lost out on the item you were bidding on.”

Although these are small opportunities, I remember once when I was interviewing people for a job, I was fortunate enough to be talking with a lot of talented people.  Yet I failed to let the person I wanted the most know I wanted them to call me if they had another offer.  So when I finally made a decision to make an offer to this person, both of us were disappointed when I heard they had accepted another job.

Missing an opportunity is a disappointment that we need to hold ourselves accountable and not blame others for our lack of decision-making skills, or procrastination.  Yet I wonder sometimes how to react when I am the opportunity!

What happens when I am well positioned to work on two projects at the same time, and yet I cannot accept both at the same time?  I have to pursue work as a self-employed consultant when it becomes available.  I don’t always have the luxury of picking my favorite projects because they never arrive at the same day and time.  When people procrastinate in deciding, and think I will always be available when they are, they are risking a long delay before I could be free again.  I want to warn them of the possibility and yet the best I can do it notify them when I am no longer available.  By then it is too late to do anything.

So if you need to make a decision, make it as soon as possible.  Lives are often hanging in the balance waiting on you, and you never know what opportunity you could be passing up!

Leaders That Lie

By a show of hands, how many of you have ever worked for someone who lied to you?  How many of you have known a political leader you once trusted, but found out they lie all the time?  If you are like most you either raised your hand while reading this blog, or just said yes out loud to both questions.

Sad isn’t it?  Why do so many leaders find it okay to flat-out lie to us?  Why do you think that the honest leader finishes last in the race while the ones that lie the most seem to win the most?

While I can’t help but focus on politics in my own mind because right now I am self-employed, (I have a great boss) I don’t have to think back too far to come up with a long list of people who lied their pants off all the time.  They were almost proud of how many people they could fool along the way and the kicker is they cared less that some found this dishonesty repulsive.

I would much rather work for someone who I can trust.  I would much rather vote for someone I can trust.  So while we can’t always choose the people we work for, we can choose leaders that tell the truth when we go to vote.

I think that whether someone is a boss or political leader, they lie because they can get away with it.  Manners dictate that we cannot flat-out call someone a liar.  We must skirt around and drop hints and sway people with other facts rather than starting off with a more direct route.

I once worked for someone who couldn’t tell the truth unless they were in a room alone with you.  In public, everything was a spin, and the competition was fierce to match a lie with a bigger lie.  I once called him on it (of course in private) and although he did not dispute me, we walked away agreeing that we would always be honest with each other.

The first time he tried to spin something after that, I looked at him and created the most off the wall lie in response.  He laughed and said, “touche” and he never lied to me again.

So rather than live with leaders that lie, let’s demand better.  If it takes calling a liar a liar, then do it!  Get their attention, and maybe they will stop too.

Lacking Management Skills

If you ask most of the managers working today how much training they have had in basic management communications skills, you may be shocked to discover if they can even remember a single event, let alone their ability to create an appropriate list.

Heck, I ask training managers to list the management communication skills they offer/train, and I often can’t get anything.  Why?  Because over the past 10 years, we as a collective effort have done little to nothing to build management skills!

I read another learning expectations report the other day that said we are still focusing on building management and leadership skills in 2012.  That is a bunch of bull, because as a nation, if corporate America was focusing on management development like these forecasters have been predicting for the past 5 years now, we would be nearly finished.

Instead, focusing means it is still on the wish list of most organizations and management teams.  Training Managers in mid-sized and small organizations are talking the talk, but cannot seem to actually train these skills in any depth.

A fully comprehensive management training program could be reviewed, evaluated, negotiated, and implemented in 30-days start to finish.  So what is preventing companies from getting these skills developed?

I’m out of answers, any thoughts out there?